The green monster

"Well I have a lecture and then I am going to go see a movie with T."
So he is seeing a movie with a friend; this doesn't sound like a big deal does it?
Did I mention that this best friend is a girl? Now Renji, this just sounds like unfounded jealousy; boys can be just friends with girls and you know this; you have many male friends to whom you are not attracted in the slightest.
Did I mention that T is very attractive and has rather large boobs? Well they do say that beauty is on the inside and that looks aren't everything. In the words of my good friend Zack, "more than a handful is a waste'.
Did I mention that he asked her out a while back? He obviously likes you then since he asked you out more recently. I expect that he is over her now.
Did I mention that he was in love with her for years but endured continual rejection?
Is it not possible that he is not actually over her but has simply given up because she doesn't feel the same way, yet once she realises that he is attractive, funny, and amazing, and returns those feelings that there will be a relapse? I think so.

I am not concerned with the fact that he has friends. I have no right to stop him from hanging out with his other friends, nor do I want to, but seriously... I have sex with you, I think I deserve some time. Now, I admit that I do get time too, but why is it that I have to organise it everytime, and why is it that we have left the house once for at least the last twenty times I have seen him?

I couldn't care less that he wants to spend time with the boys or time alone with his flawless T because I know that I love hanging out with my friends. I am friends with most of his friends because of school and I was friends with them before we got together. Everyone deserves to spend time with their friends and just because they are in a relationship it doesn't mean that they have to dedicate the majority of their time with them. I don't have enough free time to hang out with M very often because of uni and work and my other friends, but the time that I do have I would have loved to see him. Now I have changed my mind.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Well I have a lecture and then I am going to see a movie with T"
"Do you want to come over tomorrow night then? Nobody home."
"Mum and dad are asleep. I will ask them in the morning"
"Yeah ok."
End of conversation.

This happens so often that I can barely stand it anymore. Starting right now I refuse to be the first. I have waisted a lot of phone credit being the first one to send a message and although I have told myself so many times before, this time I am serious. I am never again suggesting to catch up and he can do it next time. I have had boyfriends in the past who would always want to spend time with me; not to the extent that they ignore their friends, but enough to seem like they actually wanted to see me. And another thing; when was the last time we hung out without having sex? I mean, I sure as hell enjoy that but I'm sure we can find something different to do.

I will be quite fine to go about my daily business without needing to hear from him and I won't sit and wait for a message. There are many other people with whom I can spend my time and I'm sure we can think of things to do other than sex.

To come back to the point with which I began, I am generally a jealous person. T is one of the greatest people I have ever met and I love her to bits, but that makes it worse when it comes to M. Because of my awful jealousy, I have become an extreme facebook stalker, following the every move of my current, and for some reason, all my ex boyfriends' pages. I just like to know what is going on and how many girls want in their pants I guess. It is disgraceful and I hate myself for it, but everyone does it to some extent.

So the basic idea is; I get really jealous which is not helped by M's best friend being freakishly hot, and I am giving up on trying to initiate conversation. Trust me, you will hear more about this since it is an ongoing annoyance of mine. I apologise for the lack of amazing vocabulary and the poor writing but it is late and I am ever so tired. This post could have waited until tomorrow when I would sit and wonder whether or not M would show up, but I wanted to get it out now so I could actually sleep. Thanks for reading.
-Renji

**EDIT**
Apparently they went to the zoo... I am so glad they found a lovely spot to spend the entire day together. I wonder if he already knew they were going to the zoo when he told me they were going to the movies. Fine, don't think of fun places to go with me; just take her fun places.