20 Minutes

It seems as though it is that time again; time for a forced blog post due to an extended period of time since either Shady or I have graced the computer screens of all you procrastinators out there. There is another blog that I occasionally contribute to, and inspired by my last post on that blog which was written in 35 minutes during a Biology lecture, I have decided to write a blog post in a restricted amount of time; more specifically, 20 minutes. This introduction aside, I will have 20 minutes to write about whatever I choose, with time updates at 5 minute intervals. Let us begin now at time 0.

Before starting this blog I tried to think of something that I could write about in only 20 minutes, but my train of thought quickly moved to all the things that one can do when given just that small amount of time. This, of course, gave me my topic which I hope will not end up being boring as I am going to post this regardless of the quality of the content. So the things that one could do when given 20 minutes are countless, but I can only focus on a few, since I have only been given 20 minutes.

SEX – I admit that this would not be the best sex if it took only 20 minutes, especially if that time included foreplay, but it is quite possible and also satisfying enough to do this in that amount of time. Many times I have done this, usually due to a limited amount of time, for example when I had to leave for work in 15 minutes and I could not go without a little mood booster. Now this is one of those things that you could do with 20 minutes, but it can also take up larger amounts of time; you have to love a variable in any situation as it makes an interesting topic, but we are not here to discuss the different lengths of sexual activity. We are now at time 5 and must be moving on.

COOKING PASTA – As a half Italian girl it is very important that I know how to make pasta. As a girl born into Australian culture with an Italian mother, it is inevitable that I have absolutely no idea how to cook anything. Ok, I can make mashed potatoes and if the pasta sauce is already made I am able to heat that up and boil the pasta; does that count? When I say ‘cooking pasta’ I of course mean defrosting sauce and boiling the dry pasta in a saucepan; not really cooking but I can do it in 20 minutes. I’m aware that there are many other dishes that can be cooked in the same amount of time, but I chose pasta as it is extremely simple so even someone such as me can do it, and I like mentioning that I am Italian because it sounds cool; I think so anyway.

WATCH AN EPISODE OF BLEACH – Now I don’t like to do this in 20 minutes as it would mean I have to skip both the opening and closing theme songs which I love ever so much. In fact, two of those themes are currently used on my phone as a ringtone and message tone. Now at time 10, I am glad that I was able to start a new subject before that time clicked over. One episode of Bleach; an anime show that I have become addicted to thanks to my dear friend Shady Lewis; takes about 24 minutes to watch which is just over our time limit. If I was the viewer it would take this long, but many people care not about the songs or the novelty clip at the end and so could easily squeeze the entire episode into 20 minutes with the intention, I’m sure, that I could write it into this post. These are the people like Shady, who decide to skip an entire arc because it was a filler and apparently useless, but I am determined to watch it no matter how ridiculous it is (I am currently halfway through said arc and it is insanely stupid). Now at time 15, I better get a move on.

SERVE APPROXIMATELY 13 CUSTOMERS AT SAFEWAY – This applies on a fairly quick day in which customers come through a normal register (not express) with a number of items that barely exceeds the limit of the express check out. These tiny baskets of groceries mixed with the occasional customer who brings through two and a half trolleys worth of shopping will allow the employee behind the counter to serve approximately 13 customers in 20 minutes. Most will take less than 2 minutes, some may even take 30 seconds, but those large loads will definitely bring down your average. There is, however, one variable that could throw this tally completely off track: the chatty customer. Whether they be complaining, inquisitive, or simply friendly, these customers hold your attention while other wait impatiently in the line so they can talk to you about how they think the store can be improved or how their son would really love a job with the company, like I have any power over who is employed at the store I work at. Annoying people aside, 20 minutes equals about 13 customers.

At time 19, or 1 minute left, it seems that, when given 20 minutes, one can write an entire blog post about a few of the things that others can do with the same amount of time. Thanks for reading
-Renji